Broken Heart

The wind is blowing fierce.
Clouds are coming fast.
All my hopes and dreams are fading.
My heart is breaking --
I am falling.
Lord, help me, save me!
I cannot see you.
Where have you gone my Lord?!
Then I heard Him.
He was calling my name.
In a voice so tender and understanding I heard him say --
"My child, did I not promise that I would never leave you?
I never promised an easy road,
But I did promise I would carry you."

Gary Zimmerman
January 12, 1948 - February 5, 2012

This weekend was the funeral service for my grandpa who went home to be with the Lord the Sunday prior. It was a great and memorable service. I had the opportunity to sing a song and read a poem I wrote the day after my grandpa passed away. Here is the poem . . .

Entering the Gates of Heaven

The day had rapidly approached
When the Lord was to call him home.
His life on earth was finished
And it was time to let him go.
Sharing hugs and kisses --
We said our tearful goodbyes.
“I love you. I love you forever.” Is what he spoke into my ear.
Words that mean the world to me,
And I will hold in my heart forever.
Tears flowed down each face
As we sat there by his side . . .
Waiting for the moment --
The instant he would breathe his final breath.
The time was coming fast,
And I often wonder if he could start to hear the angels sing.
God was preparing a place for him --
A place inside of heaven’s gates.
I’m sure he’d share in tears of joy
As he’d meet his loved ones who had gone on before.
His journey on earth was over,
But the best had yet to come.
His turn to meet Jesus was here,
And God welcomed him with arms open wide.
Then he led him through the pearly gates,
And walked with him through the streets of gold.
I can only imagine the smile on his face
When he ran into the arms of God.
“Welcome home, my child. Well done.”
This I’m sure God said to him.
He left behind a great example
For us all to see and follow.
On earth his faith had been so strong,
And he loved the Lord with all his heart.
He once had told me to live my life
So that others can see God’s love.
He did his best to live for Christ,
And encouraged others to trust in God.
Although we are saddened by our loss,
We may rejoice because we know
One glorious day we will see him again,
And be with him in heaven.
Now he watches from up above,
And in our hearts we can feel his love.
I will never forget what a great man he was.
I will love you forever . . .
My grandpa.

Precious Memories

Time so quickly seems to fade --
Reality strikes me like a blade.
I feel there's so much for me to say,
Oh let me tell you if I may,
Of a boy I once knew
That I dearly love all through and through.
Oh, what precious memories
Me and my best friend share.
We were so young and oblivious and without a care.
Two small children, my brother and me --
As happy and content as two could be.
A tickle and a laugh,
A tear --
A simple hug to calm and to cheer.
Little hands and tiny feet
Twirling around as the time does flee.
We stuck together in the good times and the bad,
Forgiving one another when one got mad.
Ah, yes, precious memories!
And now you, my brother, my friend have grown --
Now spreading your wings
And are learning to soar,
Going through each open door.
Remember always to trust in the Lord.
Thank you for my precious memories,
I love you!

My Heart's Silent Suffering

I sit alone in the darkness,
All is quiet and still.
What is this I hear?
I hear the silent screaming of my heart.
I can hear my heart pleading --
I hear it beating.
Faster, faster, faster!
Could I be dreaming?
I feel such emptiness;
So lost in this world.
My heart is aching.
I can hear it screaming,
Louder, louder, louder!
My heart is pleading.
By morning, when it finally came,
All was quiet and still.
Not a thing could be heard
Except the silent, steady beating of --
My heart.
Day by day I feel the pain
That has dwelt within me for so long.
Not even one knows what I feel,
That is . . . my heart's silent suffering.

Pounding in My Head

People are all around me --
I see their lips form words,
And their heads fly back in laughter.
But it's as if they hide behind sound-proof glass,
For all I hear is the pounding in my head.
Thoughts flash through my mind . . .
Who am I really?
I wonder who the girl is that stares at me through the mirror . . .
Does she have a name or purpose?
Deep inside I'm a lost little girl,
But the mirror reveals something more.
The thoughts seem muffled --
Muffled by the pounding in my head.
I wander within aimlessly,
Trying to find some sense of who I am . . .
Some proof of intelligence,
Or maybe just an answer as to which path is mine.
Tears well up in my eyes
As frustration and anxiety fill my mind.
There are so many roads in life, but only one that I must travel.
Do I even have what it takes to walk the winding road?
Fear holds me back as I stare across the trail --
Completely overwhelmed by the thought of making it alone.
Who will carry me when I have become too weak?
I walk around in circles, with no apparent direction . . .
Searching for some guidance,
A hand to point the right direction.
I hear a quiet voice speak softly in my ear . . .
The voice tells me it is my strength --
The hand to carry me through.
It's then I realize my strength lies in God,
And though at times I feel alone,
God is there to carry me on.
Still I roam without a clue . . .
I still don't know where the path will lead,
But I now see what matters most.
God gives me strength and blesses me with love,
Through the ones I call my own.

My Sister

Years ago, deep in my heart, there abided resentment . . .
Resentment for one so small --
One who shone like the sun, and twinkled with beauty
Like the stars in a glorious night.
Deep in my heart there was such bitterness
That bit like the cold on a breezy winter's night.
There was ever growing spite within
Towards the one who only showed love
And never-ending patience
Towards me . . . the one who could not show her love.
She has always been
Such a ray of light in the darkness of my heart.
Throughout the years I was filled --
Overflowing with much jealousy
For the one so small . . .
My sister.
No one could understand my troubles . . .
The things I felt towards her,
But then again --
Neither could I.
What could she have possibly done . . .
She was innocent -- maybe that was the problem.
She shone with such light
That my greediness burned through.
I would have given anything to have momma to myself . . .
To know that I was her girl.
So all through the years I wanted to cause her misery,
I wanted her to feel the pain I thought that I had,
The pain I felt from her taking my place.
Such terrible feelings I had towards the one so small . . .
My sister.
She never ceased to cheer my weary heart,
Nor to show me her love.
Slowly making her way into my heart . . .
The place I have always loved her,
But never dared let her know.
I love her with my whole heart and would have it no other way
She has shown me acceptance of self, and of others.
I am blessed to have her in my life.
Today she is my best friend . . .
She means everything in my world --
I would do anything for the one so small . . .
My sister.

Broken Dreams

Deep within I feel the ache --
The empty hole that you made.
Since you've been gone
I've never been the same.
It seems you've moved on,
Leaving me alone.
My heart longs for the man I used to know --
For the one I had loved . . .
The one who seemed sent from above.
I miss you with my whole heart.
I never wanted to part,
But God wanted different
And sent us our separate ways.
I keep praying for a miracle --
To have you in my arms once more,
But all I have are broken dreams --
Broken dreams and an aching heart.
It's time for me to let go,
Time to let go and be free.
It's the only way for me to be happy,
And mend these broken dreams . . .
It's time to let go.