Searching

Some time ago I stumbled --
Fell and lost my way.
I lost all love for life I had ever had.
I am now searching,
Trying to find myself.
I am lost among this unending storm,
Drowning in the flood.
Little by little I feel I am dying --
Dying from within.
Where did my love go --
How did it end?
Many times I have triumphed --
Only to fall back down again.
At times I may get discouraged,
But I will continue to stand with God on my side --
Until my journey has ended,
And the fight is won.

Faded Memories

It seems like a dream I awoke from --
Like some distant memory.
These past few months seem a blur
As reality and dreams combine.
My mind knows not what is real anymore.
Is all I knew to be true a lie?
What if reality were really a dream,
And a dream -- reality?
Who determines what is real?
I want nothing more than to be free --
Free from life's captive weight.
My mind is full of faded memories --
Nothing more than faded memories.
In the night I shed a tear,
Wishing it had only been a dream,
For now I am surrounded only --
By these faded memories.

Lost in His Embrace

Another day has passed,
And the love I once knew seems to fade
Like the setting of the sun.
I lay in the stillness -- in the darkness of the night,
And feel as though it is swallowing me up
Dragging me down to the deep pit of despair.
I feel empty -- lost.
Tears run down my face -- my stomach vomits.
Curled up on my bed I cry out --
I cry out to God.
"Why! Why, Lord, did this have to happen?
Where were you when my love slipped away?"
I lie in wait for a response --
My soul in agony
As if to face my fate.
I hear no voice come down from Heaven --
No light is shining on me.
For a moment all reason left me,
And I wondered if He heard my cry,
Or if He was really there.
Before I closed my eyes to try to sleep
I felt an overwhelming sensation --
Something familiar, and yet, something new.
I could almost feel God's arms around me
As peace came undeniably over me.
Lost in His embrace, I fell to sleep --
I fell asleep in God's embrace.

Missing you

You have been heavy on my mind today . . .

I bow my head to pray --

For I miss you more than I could ever say.

I just wish I could see your face --

All past memories in my mind I trace.

My heart is heavy when you're gone . . .

Every minute seems so long.

Why must I miss you so?

The tears, they want to flow.

I miss you more with each passing day.

As memories of you rest in my mind --

Here in my heart I find . . .

I'm missing you.

~Monique M.

~ Matthew Henry

"Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him."

~Miss Procter

Letter to a suitor

Before I trust my fate to thee,

Or place my hand in thine;

Before I let thy future give

Color and form to mine;

Before I peril all for thee,

Question thy soul tonight for me.

I break all slighter bonds, nor feel

A shadow of regret;

Is there one link within the past

That holds thy spirit yet?

Or is thy faith as clear and free

As that which I can pledge to thee?

Does there within thy dimmest dreams

A possible future shine,

Wherein thy life could henceforth breathe,

Untouched, unshared by mine?

If so, at any pain or cost,

Oh, tell me before all is lost.

Look deeper still. If thou canst feel

Within thy inmost soul

That thou hast kept a portion back,

While I have staked the whole,

Let no false pity spare the blow,

But in true mercy tell me so.

Is there within thy heart a need

That mine cannot fulfill?

One chord that any other hand

Could better wake or still?

Speak now- lest at some future day

My whole life wither and decay.

Lives there within thy nature bid

The demon-spirit change,

Shedding a passing glory still

On all things new and strange?

It may not be thy fault alone-

But shield my heart against thine own.

Couldst thou withdraw thy hand one day

And answer to my claim

That fate, and that to-day's mistake-

Not thou- had been to blame?

Some soothe their conscience thus; but thou

Wilt surely warn and save me now.

~ Unknown

"This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss you your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life."